Zany Zodiacs

by Florine of Bourgogne

Aries the Ram (Mar 20 - Apr 21)
Ok, Aries, I know it's cold, but that's ok! There's someone out there who's just really wanting to cuddle up with you, and get nice and toasty. Don't let your sometimes frosty nature get the better of you. Live large! Just don't live foolishly ...

Taurus the Bull (Apr 20 - May 21)
Taurus?! You know what you're doing isn't healthy! But, hey, that's up to you. Don't start crying when you start sounding and looking like Gollum. Tis the Season to go partying...but being stubborn about you-know-what won't get you points. Take a vacation from sad times, Taurus! Party happily, but party responsibly ...

Gemini the Twins (May 21 - June19)
Alright Gemini, you're beside yourself, and that's not the way to be. In two minds about that certain someone? Tell them. The worse they can say is...okay, so they could say some really rotten things, but " No", could be the worse...take heart, though. Someone you know is really wanting to get to know you better.

Cancer the Crab (June 20 - July 19)
Don't keep the, "No Kidding, There I Was" stories to a minimum. Especially if they're really funny. People around you need to laugh, and you're elected, Cancer. Don't pull into that shell at the first sound of laughter, either- they're laughing with you, not at you.That's something you need to learn.

Leo the Lion ( July 20 - Aug 19)
Ok, Leos! Time to go hunting. Find that good time, even if you have to scare it up. Life's too short. Live a little-- and don't forget to tell those around you how much they mean to you, too! *S*

Virgo the Virgin (Aug 20 - Sept 19)
Virgos! Party central is usually at your place at this time of year. However, if a close friend wants to do the honors, let them ...volunteer to help them make a real success of their party, and boost someone's morale. They'll love you for it, and you'll feel good about it,too!

Libra the Scales (Sept 20 - Oct 19)
Justice is served, Libras. How will you take it? A nice, warm beach in Cancun might be nice...just remember who helped you achieve that miracle, and reward them nicely. They probably did it as a favor to you, anyway, right? Just saying " Thank you" could make someone's day, and let them know you appreciate them. 'Nuff said.

Scorpio the Scorpion (Oct 20 - Nov 19)
Ease up on the 'tude, Scorpios! Yes, I know you feel like no one is listening to you, but, really, they are.As in every case, some just might not like what they're hearing-especially, since you have a tendency to tell the bald-faced truth, with no frills. I'm not telling you to candy-coat it....okay, maybe I am. But that doesn't mean you can't tell the truth. Diplomacy can sometimes get you exactly what you want...and you know what that means ...

Sagittarius the Archer (Nov 20 - Dec 19)
Ok, archers, target practice is over. Time to quit shopping so much and starts saving for that rainy day. Time's may be rough, but it'll get better ... especially when that rainy day money gets up to the one hundred dollar mark...But seriously, Sag, start saving money. You'll be glad you did.

Capricorn the Goat (Dec 20 - Jan 19)
Does it seem like your on those steps to Mordor, Capricorns? Lots of struggle lately, right? Emotional or financial, they're linked this time. Grab out your favorite ice cream, and eat a whole pint. It'll make you feel better, and it tastes good, too! Everyone needs some "me" time, so relax. If you don't, you might not get to for some time ... remember, even Frodo took a rest sometimes.

Aquarius the Waterbearer (Jan 20 - Feb 19)
Come on in, the water's fine...yeah, right! It's colder than a welldigger's backside, and no one, no how, is going to talk you into jumping into something without testing the waters first.That is wise! Just listen to your heart...it knows. And whatever you do ... remember your friends.

Pisces the Fish (Feb 20 - Mar 19)
Fresh and wriggling! That's how you feel, right, Pisces? That's great! Keep up the good work, even if no one notices.Or if you think they don't. 'A job well done, just because it's worth doing well', should be your motto. And remember not to pat yourself on the back so much...you really don't need to brag so. You are doing a good job, even if no one tells you so, and most folks are put off by braggarts.


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