Not The Illiad, But It Is Homerby Jove Romulus If you are reading this than you are more than likely on a computer. If not, please let us know just how you can read my mind. I am not to sure why any sane person would want to get in my mind. I know that I try very hard to be out of my mind. If not, I would think I am insane. That being said, seeing as how I am unquestionably the smartest person here, (in my own mind) I have been asked to bestow my wisdom gained from my 10-year party college education degree. Just don’t ask me anything about astrophysics, HTML, what women want or “Where's the "Any" key?” (Homer Simpson). I am in many ways like my hero Homer Simpson. Mystified and amused by the simplest of things. Up until 6 years ago, I thought computers were only good for playing games and pretending to do reports needed for classes. Imagine my surprise when one day I got on a friend’s computer and “Hmmm. Looks like they have the internet on computer now.” (Homer Simpson). I am really not sure what those that work with computers actually think that they can do. They are so simple and can’t even carry out tasks like “Computer, kill Flanders”. (Homer Simpson) Yet there are practical uses that society has come up with. Like the nerd that can say “I developed a program to download porn one million times faster.” (From the Simpson’s). But we humans are better than just inventing stuff like that. We have had many other accomplishments and overall “We can outsmart those dolphins! Don't forget -- we invented computers, leg warmers, bendy straws, peel-and-eat shrimp, the glory hole, AND the pudding cup!” (Homer Simpson). Seriously though, we know that we all come here to Pan Historia because we like communicating with other strange people and writing stories about strange situations. As an example of communication just the other day I realized “Last night's ‘Itchy & Scratchy’ was, without a doubt, the worst episode ever. Rest assured that I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.” (Comic Book Guy). If you don’t believe me, just go and look in 180 Degrees unless the law offices of Dewey, Cheathem and Howe forced Wyatt to have it removed by threat to use force. *hanging head in shame* “When will you people learn? In America we stopped using corporal punishment and things have never been better. The streets are safe, old people strut confidently trough the darkest alleys and the weak and nerdy are admired for their computer programming abilities. So, like us, let your children run wild and free, for as the Bible tells us, ‘Let your children run wild and free.’" (yes, even more of Homer Simpson—gee, is there a theme). Computers really are a marvelous contraption, and I hope ya’ll have learned something from me. That lesson having been said, never give a nut-ball a spotlight, or ask Joe Six-Pack for his opinion of the world. if this makes no sense to you than “Don't worry head. The computer will do all the thinking from now on.” (you just know I had to finish up with my hero, Homer Simpson). |
