God's Blessing And His Words Upon Us.
Why, seeing an orthodox cemetery, do we begin to feel dull at heart?
Because life on earth is bustle, we've never striven against the desires,
We've served our flesh and have cared for idle comfort, in spite and slander.
And why, standing by the shrine of pious people, do we feel contented?
Because their life was sacrifice; as Christ suffered and after His suffering
There was Easter.
Thus a pious person endures spite and persecution.
- HIH the Grand Duchess Tatiana Nikolaevna, 1913

Hello there. I am Her Imperial Highness the Grand Duchess Tatiana of Russia, but don't bother using such titles; no one does, lest they want to get a kick in the shin! Please, Tanya will do quite nicely. I am the second daughter of His Imperial Majesty the Emperor Nicholas II of All Russia and his wife Empress Alexandra. My papa decided to name my oldest sister Olga, and so I am Tatiana, after the two heroines in the Pushkin tale Evegny Onegin. It's rather sad and I'm not fond of it; Olga adores it, though. It goes without saying she's a little odd, but don't tell her I said that! I love my Olya almost more than my parents. We are barely two years apart. As our French tutor Pierre Gilliard said, "There were only eighteen months between them, and that in itself was a bond of union."

I was born on 29 May/10 June 1897, at the little Alexandria Dacha on the grounds of Peterhof Palace, outside St. Petersburg. "The second bright happy day in our family life," Papa wrote in his diary on the day of my birth. "At 10:40 in the morning the Lord blessed us with a daughter--Tatiana." It goes without saying that, with the first child being a girl, my parents wanted a boy, since in Russia the so-called Pauline Laws say that only a male can inherit the Russian throne. I like to think that my darling Mama and Papa didn't mind my being a girl, and I don't think they really ever minded that I was not the little tsesarevich they were hoping for. No matter!

Like I said, Olga and I are exceptionally close, beginning from our babyhood. Papa wrote in a letter to our Grandmama, the Dowager Empress Maria Feodorovna, "Our little daughters are growing, and turning into delightful happy little girls. [...] Olga talks the same in Russian and in English and adores her little sister. Tatiana seems to us, understandably, a very beautiful child, her eyes have become dark and large. She is always happy and only cries once a day, without fail, after her bath when they feed her." Olya and I shared rooms everywhere we went; we shared jewels, perfumes, and clothes. Our bond wasn't broken when we were joined in 1899 by Maria, and in 1901 by Anastasia.

Olishka and I were known as "the Big Pair" while, obviously, Mashka and Nastasia were "the Little Pair". Just as Olya and I were devoted to each other, Maria and Nastya were devoted to each other too. We called ourselves, when we were younger, 'OTMA'. We had our fights as girls over dolls and other silly things and, although our parents didn't play favorites, everyone seems to have thought Olya was Papa's favorite and I was Mama's. In 1904, when I was seven, God blessed Russia with giving an heir to Mama and Papa. Our little brother Alexei Nikolaevich was born in August of that year, in the middle of a most dreadful war with Japan, and the people celebrated like no tomorrow!

My little sisters, who are very intractable and often naughty (especially Anastasia), call me 'The Governess' because I act like I am their nanny, telling them what to do all the time. I just say one ought to know when they should behave and what they should do! Olga is the smart one of us sisters who loves to read; Maria is a flirt and a daydreamer and often quite stubborn; and Anastasia is a wild girl who pulls pranks and can be quite cruel but also rather funny. I am the practical mind of OTMA; organizing, planning, telling so-and-so to please do this, running messages for Mama when she was indisposed, reading to our little brother when he is ill and those sorts of things.

And, of course, there are the silly people who go on comparing us sisters to each other: who is prettiest and so on and so forth, very stupid. I've dark hair--much darker than Olga's blonde; we are perfect compliments!--and dark gray eyes, and a very pale complexion made even more so by the fact that I almost never flush. Everyone says I look most like Mama in the days where she was the pretty Alix of Hesse. My contemporaries all usually mentioned the fact they think I am beautiful, like Alexander Mossolov: "Tatiana was a little taller [than Olga], more delicate and slender, her face was longer and her whole appearance was more aristocratic and well-bred, her hair was darker than her older sister's, but she did not smile as often. She was, to my mind, the most beautiful of the sisters." I suppose one can say such things are humbling, but I think it is--to use one of Anastasia's favorite words--fuss. I just wonder if some people are required to act like syncophants for us!

I am a very social person. Since Mama does not like to give parties and such as they are such a trial to her, Olya and I are never really allowed to do much socializing. But when there is some ball or function to go to, I enjoy myself immensely! I admit, it is vain of me, but I do like it when people notice me. It makes me dreadfully sad that we've no friends other than some of our younger ladies-in-waiting or the children of maids and whatnot; Mama does not like any of our cousins and we've only met the extended family members a few times and it was all very formal. "Through her good looks and her art of self-assertion she put her sister in the shade in public, as the latter, thoughtless about herself, seemed to take a back seat," wrote Pierre Gilliard of me adoring the 'spotlight,' so to speak!

My home will soon be finished...

In the What If? storyline...

So now all we have to dispose of to marriage now are Anastasia and Alexei. I am sure you know what has happened to the three of us girls, but if you don't, I shall tell you our wonderful (well, for Maria!) story.

On 15 April 1921 my darling eldest sister Olga married Edward, the Prince of Wales. To us he is called David as it is the last of his seven Christian names. Mama was right when she said she was loath to lose her daughters...but that she eventually might have to leave them anyway! That is exactly what happened to poor Olya. Since the marriage was considered by both the governments to be very beneficial (alliances are such rot!), it proceeded no matter how much Olya protested (and apparently David did too, though we really don't know about it). The two seem fond of each other enough, though David is terribly selfish and like Olga has a most vile temper. Imagine, it shocked us all when we heard that in June Olya was expecting a baby! And so quickly after the marriage too! At least she has support in our various relatives that live in England, like Aunt Victoria and cousins Louise and Dickie. As for the baby (who took such a very long time in arriving, I am sorry to say), Olya gave birth to a daughter who they named Catherine Alexandra Victoria Mary on 22 January 1922. She was a few weeks early, and quite a tiny thing, but I think promises to grow up very pretty. She has the most remarkable clear blue eyes, definitely from her Papa! She has (Olya laments about this jokingly) inherited his rather short nose too, but it looks positively darling on her so really I don't see what the fuss is about.

Since I am the second daughter I should tell you, secondly, about me. On 21 July/3 August 1919 I was married to my cousin Prince Christopher of Greece. I did not know him very well, and when he proposed, I had no clue what to do. I dearly wished to remain near Mama, and he agreed to live in Russia since his mama was also Russian. He seemed kind enough, though then I did not...appreciate...his quirks. We do not get along though I am trying very hard to be a good wife to him; it just does not seem to be a marriage that is working out. It is more one of companionship than of love. We stay mostly in Russia though occasionally visit Greece; not now, though, what with the most vile things going on! In July of the next year, during our visit in America, my daughter Alexandra decided to grace the world with her presence a good few weeks early. We were all shocked. We named her after my mama, and Christo's poor sister who died in 1891. I find myself at a loss as to how to deal with a baby but I do think I am becoming more used to the idea and closer to Sandra, who is turning into a pretty little toddler who enjoys her Papa playing with her more than anything else. She is already learning to speak, and babbles in Russian, Greek and English--sometimes all three! I think she will turn out to be an uncommonly clever girl. I am again unhappily with child, not enjoying the process one bit nor the pain, but I hope it shall be better than the last time!

Maria got married before Olga and myself, in May of 1918 to her soldier boyfriend Ivashko Tarkhan. Ever since they started flirting in the summer of 1914 we had been teasing her...and she was serious about marrying her soldier! The people seemed delighted by it and they seem truly happy, which is such a blessing. On Christmas Day, 1919, Mashka gave birth to her first child, a little girl named Natalia. She is two now, talking and walking and devoted to my little Sandra. The two are quite adorable and inseperable. In 1921, shortly after Olya's wedding, she had another baby--this time a boy Nikolai, named for our papa. They both look much like Maria, with her big eyes, though Kolya looks more like his father, I think. We are all pleased she is happy, though certain members of the aristocracy still think it disgusting that a grand duchess married a commoner. Well, we can just tell them, "Our Aunt Olga did the same thing!" and see if they have anything to say about it then.