My life was empty forever on a down
Until you took me, showed me around
My life is free now, my life is clear
I love you sweet leaf, though you can't hear

From Sweet Life by Black Sabbath

I'm the Dude so that's what you call me. That, or Duder. His Dudeness. Or El Dudarino, if, you know, you're not into the whole brevity thing...

Until recently life was pretty damned fine. I had my bowling, my friend Walter (shame about Donny but then I guess it's good he's missing out on this whole plague thing), and I had my White Russians. Both kinds.

Now it's all turned to shit, and I don't mean that figuratively. I used to think Walter was a little too violent, you know? Now I wish I had more like him. And the worse thing? I'm running out of cream.