A Fine Whine Ah, to be invited out for a glorious meal With the girl of your dreams The best food and drink Yes, a fine wine served with all your favorites During a seven course meal
Followed by a night of dancing Real dancing No disco, hip-hop, or sawdust on the floor Dancing with your partner Cheek to cheek, except when doin' the Lindy
Then home for some serious sex!
But what comes first? Oh, you know what just has to come first First things first Before the fun can be first The torture of preparations must be first!
For you can't just throw on those comfy sweats Go stinky from a day at work Oh no, heavens no that won't work You have hipatitus to maintain A cool so cool that it's lethal, that's hipatitus
The Major's picture graces the dictionary entry for Hipatitus
So it's off to the bath! Off with those boring work clothes Shave what? You must be kidding! How the hell does a normal person reach to shave that! I'm not some damn acrobat like Nyan
Ok, stop pouting. I'll manage But you got to kiss any nicks, he-he-he Damn safety razors take all the fun out of things! So at least help with all the powders, goop, and other makeup Then show me that killer outfit you bought special for me
Um, yeah. Where the hell's the dress?
A little black silk number is what you got me Yes, it is beautiful. Like your smile, shithead Why do you get the fancy zoot suit? What do you mean this underwear doesn't work? You got that covered too? You little minx . . . shithead
You just wanted to see me naked again What's this? A gothic bustier to push and separate! And what's that spaghetti? Not butt floss! Why can't I have normal panties? Ok, stop crying. I'll wear the butt floss thong and gothic bustier
Six inch spiked hooker heels and silk stockings? WTF kind of dance we going to?
Ow! Ow! Ow! Fell off my ^#$%@#$% heels! Please stop your bitching my lovely Sandi It's just one bourbon to ease the pain in my ankle It's probably broken, but we're going dancing I promise, a second won't spoil the night's whine
For when Fall is in the air there is always room for a fine whine
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