“The tale starts with an intrepid clan of Blessed trudging through a snowy forest. Everyone singing a traditional Blessed marching song to keep up their spirits. Of course that was long before we learned how to play music right. You know, like this.” “Well, maybe it wasn't trudging. There were a lot of Blessed girls along and we're not good at trudging. It was more like skippin' 'n' tumblin' merrily actually. Except maybe for big brother Nee, mom, and some of the other bigger Blessed pushing a path through the deep snow. They sort of approached trudging once in awhile as they beat through some of the deeper drifts.” “Will you get on with it!” Looking at Babs nervously. Until she saw an opening to stick her tongue out at the depressing little party-pooper. “We were all happily singing the chorus as Babs wailed away on her new blues harp. Yeah, even then she was a depressed little twit.” Nyan ducks a swing of chainsaw. “Since she wouldn't tell anyone where she had found the harp and thing the elders had named a chainsaw she'd been sentenced to being a BFF twain.” Nyan giggles strangely. “Which finally allowed me to give someone a deep, big girl, snoggin' with tongue and all!” “The horror, the horror.” Babs shivered. “I'm still in therapy.” "So our intrepid band of adventurers, um, plus families, pets, and camp followers are all traipsing along through the woods. It was snowing again. Which at least was better than it raining.” “Oh great. Now you've cursed us for sure.” Babs got the little rain cover out for her magical electric-monotone voice-box. Ignoring Babs Nyan pressed on. “Well, despite Babs' predictions of doom and gloom we pressed on. Since stopping and all freezing to death seemed like a bad alternative.” More shrugs. “So we were just about to to ask the elders to name another march song when suddenly mom tripped over something buried in a snowdrift. The lump in a dirty dress like thing got a moan in before mom's cursing like a teamster echoed through the woods.” “We all listened to what mom was screaming. She was an elder after all. And big enough to give out some mean spankings. Even to big brother Nee.” Nyan grinned like a loony. “Besides, who knew you could do that with a kangaroo!” Even Babs blushed at the remembered naughtiness of that. “Ow! My head.” The lump tried to shift. “Could you stop kicking me in the butt?” Tried once more to unsuccessfully move. “And maybe not sit on me?” “Me, Babs, Paula, Lefty, Debbie, Mio, Megumi, and Kiki all kept sitting on Anias. He was halfway warm which was a lot more comfortable than sitting on cold trees or rocks in damp shimapan. But after some more cursing about unnatural acts mom finally got the snow brushed off. Gave the tripping hazard one last kick in the butt before making a serious appraisal. Once she and the other elders decided he wouldn't be good to eat they told us to get off him.” “Although it was creepy, pervy the way Anias and the readers all looked at our shimapan as we scampered up.” “Yeah!” Nyan, Babs, and the rest of the girls all looked out unhappily at the Pan readers. Until having those serious thoughts made them all puke. “Avoiding the mess we all looked to the elders as they got this Anias on his feet. Dancing in and out to join some last pokes, prods, and pinches just to make sure of the whole edibility thing. But after some more debate that went on so long the girls all went back to playing and singing it was settled that Anias would in fact not go into the cook pot over the camp fire. Although that was most likely due to us not having invented cook pots or fire yet.” Convinced it was time to move the story along now Babs pushed in. “After an hour of interrogation the elders decided Anias might be useful. Although this Athens he claimed some goddess had banished him from for stepping on her foot was a mystery to us. He'd hit his head, so the Blessed all figured he was just daft and delusional from that.” “Then the snow turned into a cold, freezing rain.” “Which was your fault.” “Was not!” “Definitely your fault.” “Was not! Was not! Fibber! Fibber! Pants on fire!” Nyan pouted and held her breath. “Fire wasn't invented yet.” Babs waved at her depressingly dark skirt and knee socks. “And I'm not wearing pants.” She shrugged in the most horrid manner. “Besides, you already invoked the it could be worse, it could be raining curse.” Nyan cocked her fast turning blue face from holding her breath pouting to one side. After a moment went back to grinning like an idiot. “That's right! I did!” Did a little happy dance before picking up Ye Olde Tale again. “So as Babs led us into another traditional marching song for rain everyone looked to Anias. Sure that he would know someplace convenient for us all to get out of the yucky freezing rain. The crazed mob following him while the elders began arguing out what this teamster thing might be that mom had just invented.” | 
Author: Nyan Mauritius
