Pan Community Board

Fresh from their highly successful assassination of Santa and pillaging of the North Pole toy factories the eight leaders of the blood-thirsty catgirl space pirates descended on the parade route. With well hidden speakers blasting reggae the Catspaw Pirates float trundles off their ship the Princess Britney's Rehab to take their turn along the route.

“We're having such fun with the Phoenix Parade!” Kaboomi yelled to her twin sister. Tossing Bob Marley sized buds of katnip to the spectators! Seeing the mostly monkeyboy and monkeygirl spectators looking strangely at their new gifts she yelled at them. “That's only the best Elvis brand katnip! Light up or snort it! It's all grrrrrrrreat!”

Handing Kaboomi another bottle of 35 year old Japanese Scotch Kafluie grinned. “It was so awesome that Nikka Breweries sponsored us too!” She took aim and beaned an especially obnoxious monkeygirl with an overhanded throw of her own bottle.

Casually tossing a bud out to some cute kiddies Major Katomi Kiru laughed at Kafluie's toss. “You're going to hell for bashing a nun like that!”

“You could have at least drawn some blood Kafluie!” Revy took aim and picked off another nun.

“You mean like this Revy?” Intergalactic assassin Linda Shaw casually flipped a well aimed bottle to break the nose of a third penguin-dressed monkeygirl. “See? Easy as getting Spud Boy to make you another root beer float.”

Irena elegantly teased some excited youngsters with a couple buds of katnip. Until one cussed at her. “&$%^#@$%^$##%&^*%$$$^&^%!!!!!!!!” Sailors and Vikings fainted at her blue tirade. The kids just shrugged and held out their hands to catch their treats. Looking up to Revy she just got a shrug. Kids today are so jaded. She turned to shout at Linda. “We got a hold full of Scotch! Why are you still doing root beer floats?”

“Habits are hard to break.” At the confused look Linda grinned. “I got cubs, remember?”

Laughing with the others Lisbeth did some quick calculations, simulations, and code writing on her computer. “Hey! Speed it up. We need to get more sponsor branded material out to the crowd to meet our contracts!” A couple more keystrokes and she stole a hundred Panickles from every bank account on the planet and downloaded them to one of her 'sroom off-planet accounts.

Flinging buds and bottles up to people on roof tops and fire escapes Rally North continued to drive the float with feet and tail. “C'mon y'all, put sum effort inta dis!” She glanced back at the others. “Unless ye want's me t' invite de somber sisters along next time.” The threat of the crazy goth-loli siamese whining the whole trip was enough to get the rest of the catgirls to redouble their efforts. Leaving a trail of bruised, battered, but happy spectators in their wake.

At least they were happy until the gruesome sight of the naked celebrity zombie shuffling along in their wake made people want to gouge out their own eyeballs.